It's taken me quite a few days to articulate how I feel right now. Several friends have called and I haven't had it in me to return them. If you're reading this, maybe this will explain why.
Never have I questioned this industry we call "entertainment" more than I have this week. Everyone in Hollywood is grieving for Heath Ledger (I'll write more about that later - let's let the dust settle a bit). The elections are next week, and the rains haven't stopped. I'm trying to make campaign calls for Barack Obama, but I don't know how effective I've been because I've been so sad. I never knew Heath personally, but I feel like I did.
In 2005, on my birthday, David and I attended the New York premiere of Brokeback Mountain and sat in the row behind him. He seemed almost embarrassed by all the attention, and he really kind of kept to himself, especially at the after party. He looked like a combination of a man and a boy in his dark suit, a little awkward and impatient to get the night over with. I wanted to approach him, tell him how wonderful I thought he was, but I instinctively kept my distance. I didn't realize until that night was a true artist he was, how transformative and intelligent in a way that surpassed his years (he was 26 at the time). Anyway, here I am, already waxing on as if I'm writing a tribute. I need to save that for later.
When I got the news last week that he was gone, it didn't seem real. It still doesn't seem real.
In the midst of this tragedy, we now have some nutjob imposter claiming to be Heath's father, calling everyone in town, trying to get phone numbers of celebrities. Incredibly, he has managed to reach several A-listers and have lengthy conversations with them. He has caused an unbelievable amount of damage. See today's New York Post for more details on that. The story is all true.
What kind of world do we live in that spawns people like this? Is he a tabloid reporter? A loner whackjob who just wants to talk to celebrities? This loathsome individual has made a lot of people very paranoid, distrustful of whom they are talking to, and more stressed out than they were when they first got the news. I hope this person is found, prosecuted, humiliated, and hung.
I keep telling myself this has nothing to do with reality. We do live in a bubble out here. I kind of miss the days of Nashville, when I naively believed everything I read, anything I was told. When I was actually "in awe" of movie stars and Hollywood. I couldn't wait to pack up my Toyota and make that drive across the country. How silly it all seems now.
But Heath was the real deal. He wasn't driven by money or fame; he truly loved acting. I understand that. So in spite of the distaste and the disillusionment I've experienced this last week, I still somehow have hope that there is some meaning to all this.
The picture above was taken here in LA during a break in the rain. As I was driving to work last week, I drove under a rainbow that looked exactly like this. They were everywhere. I had never seen anything like it.
Come to think of it, that was Tuesday. That was the day Heath died.
3 comments:
It's taken me a few days to think about what to say about this. Yes it is sad...but I've had so much happen around me in the past 6 months-family members diagnosed with cancer, close family friends diagnosed with breast cancer and a very rare inoperable cancer, high school friends who've lost half there family to a senseless car accident(she lost her husband and her 12 year old son)Not to belittle the death of heath ledger, because he was immensely talented, but what about all the other people who have lost so much or could lose so much who aren't in the spotlight. They are just as important as an actor and deserve the compassion and love that a hollywood star gets. It's the one thing about hollywood that really bothers me -why do we elevate a person above the rest of the human race? Yes it's sad but, unfortunately, death happens everyday to every kind of person, start or not, death does not discriminate. They may not contribute to the entertainment industry but they give to others in their own significant way and their death or illness affects their families, friends and community.They can't be forgotten or ignored. Why can't their lives be trumpeted?
I love you dearly, Laura, this is purely my thoughts on all of this-it's been a very rough half a year and particularly sad month for me and my family.
I definitely agree with you - millions of people's lives deserve to be trumpeted and Heath was in a unique position, where he was able to share his talents with millions of people. If I inexplicably waxed on, keep in mind that my boss represented him as his attorney, so for the last 3-1/2 I've worked on Heath's projects, contracts, family issues, you name it...and he was my favorite client. So not only does his death hit close to home, it also leaves a vacuum in my day-to-day. So it's on my mind, that's all. And I've been given a unique perspective on this industry that really changes how I feel about this business as a whole.
The impostor pretending to be Heath's dad disgusted me on a very deep level - I actually got on the phone with the cretin, and tried to hand him over to NY detectives. He called me 5 separate times, trying to get phone numbers of celebrities we represent.
Heath's real father, Kim, is an amazing person. I was so inspired by Heath and his family (particularly his father), that I actually wrote and recorded a song last year about the special bond they shared ("When You Come Down"), and now that Heath is gone, it really gives new (unintentional) meaning to the lyrics. That song is one of the singles on "Somewhere in this Room". When I wrote about it in the liner notes, I concealed who the song was about (if he found out, he'd be terribly embarrassed, and it was no one's business, anyway). Now it's just bittersweet, I guess, and oddly foreboding.
I went to Heath's memorial today at Sony, and to Kim's credit, in front all these people, he expressed HIS sympathy for ALL parents who have lost their children, all over the world.
Let's hope this year gets better for EVERYONE - let's hope this strike ends SOON - let's elect a President who gives us some real health care in this country, so NO ONE has to live with cancer...let's try to turn all this sadness around!
You know I love you! And always will!!!
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